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The shocking, never-before-told story of the bizarre world inside the legendary Playboy Mansion—and, finally, the secret truth about the man who holds the key—from one of the few people who truly knows: Hef’s former #1 girlfriend and star of The Girls Next Door
A spontaneous decision at age twenty-one transformed small-town Oregon girl Holly Sue Cullen into Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s #1 girlfriend. But like Alice’s journey into Wonderland, after Holly plunged down the rabbit hole, what seemed like a fairytale life inside the Playboy Mansion—including A-list celebrity parties and her own #1-rated television show for four years—quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies. Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all—and quickly became her nightmare. After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.
But instead of ending her life, Holly chose to take charge of it.
In this shockingly candid and surprisingly moving memoir, this thoughtful and introspective woman opens up about life inside the Mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. Playboy himself.
With great courage, Holly shares the details of her subsequent troubled relationship, landing her own successful television series, and the hard work of healing, including her turn on Dancing with the Stars. A cautionary tale and a celebration of personal empowerment, Down the Rabbit Hole reminds us of the importance of fighting for our dreams—and finding the life we deserve.
- Sales Rank: #18032 in Books
- Brand: Madison, Holly
- Published on: 2015-06-23
- Released on: 2015-06-23
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.13" w x 6.00" l, 1.30 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 352 pages
Review
“Fascinating.” (AV Club)
“Reads like a celebrity memoir infused with The Bell Jar and Going Clear.” (Buzzfeed)
About the Author
Holly Madison is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir Down the Rabbit Hole. She spent five seasons on the #1 rated E! hit reality show The Girls Next Door before starring in her own hit E! series, Holly’s World. Holly divides her time between Los Angeles and Las Vegas with her husband and daughter.
Most helpful customer reviews
145 of 162 people found the following review helpful.
Juicy Read
By Tara Pies
I thought this book was a fast, juicy read and couldn't put it down. I have read many auto/biographies and found this one entertaining. Sure I think Holly convinced herself that she was in love with Hef and then after the break-up said to herself, "What was I thinking?". People are quick to make judgement but I know I have been in relationships when I was younger and thinking back I can't believe I thought I was in love, so for me she gets a pass.
I have seen reports on E News that she was lying about the bedroom situation with Hef, but if you read Izabella St. James' book "Bunny Tales" she seems to coincide with Holly's story, there's not much going on in THAT bedroom. By the way I think Daphne is the code name for Izabella in the book.
It does not sound like Hefner was a very nice guy, but why would you expect him to be, he's an 80 year old man dating a strand of 20 somethings at the same time. He cannot possibly be so disillusioned to believe that these kids are really in love with him. He knows he's being used so why would he respect them?
Even though I think a lot of Holly's decisions are ridiculous and she made a lot of her own problems - like why stay in the Playboy mansion if people were being so awful to her and she felt like crying all the time, I still like her. She is ambitious and driven and has worked hard. I'm glad she is happy and hope she makes better decisions while raising her daughter.
I know a lot of people are going to rip apart Holly and her book about her life story, but if you bought the book you bought it out if morbid curiosity. You didn't buy it to hear a heartwarming love story gone awry. You know she's going to reveal crazy personal details and tell about the cat fights and unusual experiences at the mansion. So if you like down and dirty tell-alls and "truth is stranger than fiction" details this is your book. Overall I think all the Playboy people deserve each other, they are all cut from the same cloth.
133 of 164 people found the following review helpful.
Great Story
By Jessica
Really gives an insight into the world of the mansion and how ridiculous people are to idolize an old pervert. I like that Holly overcame all that crap and moved on.
113 of 140 people found the following review helpful.
I wanted to know what her relationship with Hef was really like. They slept together every night
By Lori
I finished Holly Madison's book with more questions than when I started. As others have said, it is surprisingly well written, in terms of styling and format. But I guess I had some questions that I hoped would be answered, and they weren't. Girls Next Door was the one guilty-pleasure show I watched regularly. And, I grew up with Playboy in my home--and of course many of us wondered what really went on at the Mansion. So, when this book promised to be a "tell all" I thought it would actually tell ALL--but other than one very veiled description of one night of sex after an outing, it really never was mentioned again. I realize that Holly is now a married woman and mother, and maybe those days are so far in her rear view mirror she didn't want to go back there. Personally, I could have done with much less description of the various "mean girls" and continual cat fighting. I wanted to know what her relationship with Hef was really like. They slept together every night... did crossword puzzles and ate in bed. Did they cuddle? Did they ever make love (ever)? Did they talk, discuss the day, share their lives? If he told Holly she was the "love of my life", how did he explain his need for other women? What went on between then, for seven years, with all that time together? I just didn't feel the book covered that.
Here's the thing: I grew up in the '60's, and Playboy tried to reflect those times of "burn the bra" liberation. It was WOMEN who were liberated, to have sexual partners, to have careers, to do and be whatever they wanted. Hef sort of positioned himself as the champion of all that. So, what happened? And what happened to this generation of young women that they would find it interesting to be "arm-candy" to an old man, and allow themselves to be curfewed and kept under lock and key? I really want to understand this better.
How did Hef justify all the women, while holding the women there hostage with curfews and jealousy? How DID he manage to be with other women, if he was alone every night with Holly? Sneak off to another room? Have sex during the day? And how did it feel to be one of many... I was even curious if condoms were used, and STD's watched. Given the lifestyle... it's a reasonable question.
I wonder about Holly, and why everything she valued was about looks and exteriors. She constantly said she wanted to be loved for more than her looks, but even in Peepshow, it was all about being a blond sex kitten. How was that any different from GND or Playboy? Is she just not able to see past that? I admit, this is probably "my" problem... I just don't get the self-absorption of so many young women, or the focus so entirely on the physical, on being "pretty enough". What about an education? What about developing a spiritual life, not even religion... but just the acknowledgment that we are so much more than our looks.
But, Holly is young, and this has been a big life so far, with lots of learning. I would just really like to have read more about what these relationships were really all about... how in the world Hef got away with what he did with so many young women... and what was going on in Holly's mind and heart that would have allowed her to stay as long as she did. I think there is something missing in this book, and if she would have dug a little deeper, she could have explained it all.
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